I think a lot lately, and so a lot of it is coming out on this wonderful blog of mine. Which Im really grateful for cause someday I will be able to look back at it and know I will be even more grateful then. Till then, lets vent.
My ponderings for the day is children, and the bearing of them. Not in the literal sense. More about the timing of children. It seems that no matter what decision we make these days about having children there is always a judgement. We either have too many, have them to close to one another, have them too soon, or in my case, have them too late. Ive been married 3 years and dont have any children. In the eyes of some LDS people James and I are sinners. And Im not just pulling that out of my behind, a teacher at school even said it. One of James class mates was furious one day coming into class and asked her what was wrong. Well in her previous religious class her teacher bashed on married couples who were waiting to have children for any reason. Said they were sinners. She herself had been married for 2 years and wasnt planning on having children for another 3-4. I was just as outraged as her when he told me about that! I understand we are commanded to multiply and replenish the earth, but did God give us a specific time frame on when to? Im pretty there isnt any scripture that says "You must conceive your first child after being married for no longer than 6 months." Its sad that there are people out there who dont consider that there are some personal and serious reasons why people wait to have children. But first and formost, it is in no ones place to make a judement about something that personal to begin with. Whether we have 2, 4 or 8 kids, it is no ones job to decide that except you, your spouse and Heavenly Father. It seems people these days have forgotten that ones own personal revelation trumps whatever any one else's judgements are.
Heres to imperfect people in a perfect church. I know Im one of them, so I will try to be more patient with matters like this. Its gonna be a long road...
9 comments:
"here's to imperfect people in a perfect church" amen!
You know, I was thinking about this the other day and wondering if I was being selfish for waiting to have my next child. There are a lot of selfish reasons for me to wait. I like sleep. I want to lose some weight first. I want to be in a better place financially. Etc. We are given specific counsel on bearing children. We are told not to wait for education, time together as a couple, money, etc. We are not to wait. Period. We are to bear children. The end. I honestly think most people either don't understand, or simply ignore, this commandment. But something you said is the key to this commandment:
"...ones own personal revelation trumps..."
This is the number one reason I am waiting to have my third child. Because I don't feel that having another baby right now is what the Lord has planned for me. I continually pray and ponder when to take that step again. And when the answer comes that it's time, whether I feel ready or not, I will willingly do it. THAT is the key to the commandment. So don't let what anyone says bother you. Unless it's the Lord. :)
I tend to have lengthy opinions about your posts lately, don't I?! :)
Your call, totally.
Wear a shirt that says
"Judge NOT."
(or have it tatooed onto your forehead)
Mckenna, I love your comments! They are always welcome, length or not. So thank you for them:)
Jenny, Ill consider the tattoo on the forehead, that would definitely help with the whole not judging thing:)
I once had a teacher that told me that if you are married and not having a baby...or at least trying to then you are just married for the sex and that makes you a prostitute. Guess that makes me a prostitute!
Don't let anyone get to you though. Some people just don't know how to keep their noses out of other people's business!
yup yup yup. i agree with everything that has been said. It is entirely what you feel - and ultimately what Heavenly Father wants you to do. But be careful, if you don't listen He may just pop a baby inside you when you're not looking.... ahem, like me. :) Isn't it great though to know that someone else knows exactly what will make you the happiest, be it children or waiting? I think you're absolutely wonderful and you should just tell ppl to re-lax cause you do have a baby... he just happens to be furry :)
I agree, If you and your husband have honestly prayed about having children then the Holy Ghost is the only voice you need to be listening too. No one else's matters.
Jeanette dear, everyone goes through it. You just have to learn to ignore people who don't know what they're talking about. People starting giving us a hard time after I graduated, but for medical reasons, it would have been a terrible idea to get pregnant with blood pressure 160/120. I just had to tell them that it'll happen when it happens. Everything is on the Lord's time table. There are many people who get pregnant while on birth control and many who don't get pregnant despite never being on it. It's all in the Lord's hands. As for being a sinner, you can just tell people that wrongful judging is also a sin. We're all sinners which is why Christ died for us. Also, a friend of mine whenever someone would ask when they're having kids, he'd say, "I kiss my wife on the cheek every night and so far nothing has happened" and he says it so sincere that people don't know if he's joking or for real! So don't let it bother you. There are lots of ignorant people out there.
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