Saturday, May 28, 2011

Update

First, thank you all SO much for all your kind words and love. They have indeed been felt and needed. This has been a very emotionally draining visit to say the least. Everyday we're hearing new stories, new updates. The death toll keeps rising. When we first got here, it was around 116, today it rose to 139. Theres still about 100 people missing. We are so blessed to not have any family or friends injured or displaced by the tornado. Everyone you meet out here though was in one way or another affected by it. Just going to get food or going to the store, the conversation always comes up "so where were you when the tornado hit?" A lady at Taco Bell had family missing who were right in its path. When people ask us we tell them were here from Idaho helping out, and theyre shocked. And then you hear about all the people from all over that came out to help. The amount of volunteers here is overwhelming. For several days we drove around asking who needed help and they tell us someone already came by and helped them. I signed up at a local organization to volunteer and there were more volunteers than people to help. I then went over to the local college Missouri Southern State University and signed up and was sent over with a crew to clean up fallen trees. When we first got there a man approached us and asked us to keep our eyes out for his young nephew. It was the story everyone had heard about. A 16 year old sucked out of his car returning from graduation and was no where to be found. And we were asked to look for him while cleaning up the trees. Just unreal. Today he was found in a river. James Dad works at Freeman Hospital and has told us so many stories of people that came flooded into the hospital that are just heart wrenching, one in particular. A woman was holding onto her 16 month old son so tight that she broke both her arms, but he was still ripped out her arms. They just found him recently as well. So many stories, so much heart ache. We were able to clean up a lady's yard who wasnt home but her neighbor said she would appreciate it. There was a tree uprooted that we cut up and brought to the curb. Turned out that the tree also broke a water pipe in the ground and was flooding the yard. We were there when the water company was driving by checking on houses and was able to get them to turn the water off. If we werent there who knows how much water would have dumped out and how high her water bill would have been. We also helped out James friends sister who had some down trees as well. Since theres so many volunteers we've been finding other ways to help, like getting James friends house ready to rent out to someone displaced, and James dad who has been putting in a ton of overtime at the hospital around here on the farm. Weve definitely been busy, and are very tired. I have a lot of cuts and bruises to show for the hard work, and wear them with pride. That being said, Im exhausted and am going to call it a night. For now Ill share the one picture that tugs on my heart the most. Theres a lot more to come, but this will do for now.


Monday, May 23, 2011

Total Devastation


Im still in shock over the tornado yesterday in Joplin, MO. I cant believe my eyes. Right where we use to live, places we use to go everyday. Places I use to WORK, where my in-laws work. Where family and friends still LIVE. James best friend Jared's neighborhood is gone, amazingly, his house is okay. Just a bent Dish Satellite and no power or water. But you walk out his front door and just a couple houses down, totally gone. He went out to help people, and saved a couple people pulling them from the rubbel. Unfortunately, there were some lives that he couldn't save. Even as tragic as a pregnant lady, in his words "she was just...dead." Im not quite sure how to process all this still. Seeing the images that I know where they are, but are just unrecognizable, not the same. Its still all so surreal. Its always hard to hear of devastation around the country and world. It always brings me to tears. And then you see it hit your home, and it becomes personal and that much more devastating. I love nature and always thank God for it, and then you see this happen and for a second you question that love. How could He make something this horrible happen? That ruins peoples lives? That takes peoples lives? I dont have an answer for it, but I have faith that there is an answer. Its just so very hard in the mean time. I keep praying for them in hopes that they find some faith as well.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I Forget...

I'm realizing I forget a lot about what this blog was intended for. I get caught up in wanting to post something great, something either interesting or fun or artsy. As I sit here filled with all sorts of emotions, I remembered my blog is my journal, my outlet. I should be able to share how I feel, and maybe not in a completely candid nature since this is a blog, but still be able to write (or should I say 'type') it out...

I feel overwhelmed...
anxious
hurt
mad
sad
stressed...

HOPEFUL

Hopeful that everything will turn out alright. That the things that hurt me won't anymore, and that I can become stronger because of them. That I'll be a better wife and mother because of them. I have fallen short on a lot of the roles I play in my life, but I know those are the two that I really can strive on becoming great at. I've been experiencing a lot of trials lately, a lot of set backs, but it seems that instead of James and I growing apart, were actually growing stronger. Which is surprising to me, because we've been through a lot in the almost 5 years we've been married, and I thought for sure these trials would really test us and bring us to our knees. Well, they have brought us to our knees, but in the greatest way possible. I am so grateful for the Gospel, for a Heavenly Father that I can pray to and know that He hears both James and my prayers. That through my Savior I can become whole and my weaknesses can become strengths. I know there will greater trials awaiting us, but I have faith that we can always become stronger together because of them.