What to do...

I am in such a hard place right now, I don't know what to do. It's about my dog Doc, the furry four legged friend who I use to love so much. Yes, that was past tense and it breaks my heart to admit it. I still love him, just not like I use to. Not like he deserves. I got him as a Christmas gift from James in 2009 during a time when I was really wanting babies but we weren't ready as a couple yet. So for 3 years all that love that I wanted to put towards children was placed on him. He was spoiled rotten, we loved him so much. And I was his person, still am. Which is why this is so hard. I have children now and I will admit it, I have changed. I am stressed out with everything I have to do, Doc has become that extra thing I have to deal with. I can't stand the barking, I use to be able to handle it so much better. I'm constantly tripping over him cause he follows me everywhere, which annoys the heck out of me and I end up yelling at him. When I finally have some alone time and want to relax he climbs all over me and all I want is space so I shoo him away. He doesn't deserve any of this, and even though I know that and know he deserves more, I still can't change the fact that I have changed and just don't love him the same. One of the biggest struggles are fleas. They are rampant here and just gross me out so much. They stress me out hardcore, Doc never had them before Missouri (just another reason I hate this place) so that's just another thing for me to deal with. And it's all on me. I do the flea baths, give the flea treatments, spray the rooms with flea spray. James could care less about the fleas, which is another frustration and stress on my end. I just can't handle it anymore!!!!!!!! So my dilemma at hand is what to do with Doc. He just deserves better. I've been debating for a while now about finding him a new home, and deep down I feel like it's the right thing to do, but at the same time I feel this profound sense of guilt. How could I ever do that?! I had a conversation once with a friend who talked about her friend giving her dog up after having kids and I thought that was just horrible! I swore I would never do that. I would never be that person. And here I am. And then I wonder, once he was gone would I really feel any better? Would I just beat myself up everyday about giving him away? Kicking him to the curb. Rejecting him. Ugh. Just so dang hard.

If there's anyone who has struggled with this as well and has any advice to give, I would really appreciate it. I need all the help I can get right now.

Need a laugh...or two?

That's right, he said Mama first!!

He only did this for about 4 or 5 days, but man did it make us laugh!!

YOUR WELCOME!

Where are all the bloggers?

My blog list has become pretty bleak. I only have a handful of blogs that I follow that update anymore, where did everyone go? Oh I know, the same place I am. Busy with life! I use to love to update my blog, it was therapeutic and fun to share what was going on in my life. Then, babies came into my world. Twin boys. And boy do they keep me busy! Facebook is a lot easier to update, I can just send a quick picture to the website from my phone, since that's where I take most if not all my pictures these days. It's just whats easiest. And I am ALL about what is easiest. Life is just too crazy.

Well here's a quick update: the boys are 9 months old now. HOLY COW! So close to a year, and I'm so not ready. They talk so much now, making new sounds and discovering their voice. They love food, and are really good eaters which makes me SO happy. Boston has 4 teeth, two on bottom and two on top. Eddie is still toothless:) In the past month they started sitting really good, FINALLY! I keep reminding myself they were premature so they're gonna be behind on most of their development stages. I don't imagine they'll crawl for another month or two. But I wouldn't be surprised if they start walking before crawling, I have walkers for them that they just go go go in! They love it! I have a bike finally and found a bike trailer for the boys on Craigslist so we have been taking a lot of bike rides which they also love. We live right next to Kansas, it's literally in our backyard so we take bike rides to Kansas...

Don't they make the best faces?! I just love them so much!

Well that's it for now. Maybe I'll update again in the next 4 months. Hopefully sooner. We'll see:)