What to do...

I am in such a hard place right now, I don't know what to do. It's about my dog Doc, the furry four legged friend who I use to love so much. Yes, that was past tense and it breaks my heart to admit it. I still love him, just not like I use to. Not like he deserves. I got him as a Christmas gift from James in 2009 during a time when I was really wanting babies but we weren't ready as a couple yet. So for 3 years all that love that I wanted to put towards children was placed on him. He was spoiled rotten, we loved him so much. And I was his person, still am. Which is why this is so hard. I have children now and I will admit it, I have changed. I am stressed out with everything I have to do, Doc has become that extra thing I have to deal with. I can't stand the barking, I use to be able to handle it so much better. I'm constantly tripping over him cause he follows me everywhere, which annoys the heck out of me and I end up yelling at him. When I finally have some alone time and want to relax he climbs all over me and all I want is space so I shoo him away. He doesn't deserve any of this, and even though I know that and know he deserves more, I still can't change the fact that I have changed and just don't love him the same. One of the biggest struggles are fleas. They are rampant here and just gross me out so much. They stress me out hardcore, Doc never had them before Missouri (just another reason I hate this place) so that's just another thing for me to deal with. And it's all on me. I do the flea baths, give the flea treatments, spray the rooms with flea spray. James could care less about the fleas, which is another frustration and stress on my end. I just can't handle it anymore!!!!!!!! So my dilemma at hand is what to do with Doc. He just deserves better. I've been debating for a while now about finding him a new home, and deep down I feel like it's the right thing to do, but at the same time I feel this profound sense of guilt. How could I ever do that?! I had a conversation once with a friend who talked about her friend giving her dog up after having kids and I thought that was just horrible! I swore I would never do that. I would never be that person. And here I am. And then I wonder, once he was gone would I really feel any better? Would I just beat myself up everyday about giving him away? Kicking him to the curb. Rejecting him. Ugh. Just so dang hard.

If there's anyone who has struggled with this as well and has any advice to give, I would really appreciate it. I need all the help I can get right now.

Need a laugh...or two?

That's right, he said Mama first!!

He only did this for about 4 or 5 days, but man did it make us laugh!!

YOUR WELCOME!

Where are all the bloggers?

My blog list has become pretty bleak. I only have a handful of blogs that I follow that update anymore, where did everyone go? Oh I know, the same place I am. Busy with life! I use to love to update my blog, it was therapeutic and fun to share what was going on in my life. Then, babies came into my world. Twin boys. And boy do they keep me busy! Facebook is a lot easier to update, I can just send a quick picture to the website from my phone, since that's where I take most if not all my pictures these days. It's just whats easiest. And I am ALL about what is easiest. Life is just too crazy.

Well here's a quick update: the boys are 9 months old now. HOLY COW! So close to a year, and I'm so not ready. They talk so much now, making new sounds and discovering their voice. They love food, and are really good eaters which makes me SO happy. Boston has 4 teeth, two on bottom and two on top. Eddie is still toothless:) In the past month they started sitting really good, FINALLY! I keep reminding myself they were premature so they're gonna be behind on most of their development stages. I don't imagine they'll crawl for another month or two. But I wouldn't be surprised if they start walking before crawling, I have walkers for them that they just go go go in! They love it! I have a bike finally and found a bike trailer for the boys on Craigslist so we have been taking a lot of bike rides which they also love. We live right next to Kansas, it's literally in our backyard so we take bike rides to Kansas...

Don't they make the best faces?! I just love them so much!

Well that's it for now. Maybe I'll update again in the next 4 months. Hopefully sooner. We'll see:)

Handsome

If you look up 'handsome' in the dictionary, I'm pretty sure you'll find this....

These guys melt my heart every day. I am so lucky to have them.

I'm a Baby Wise Mom and PROUD of it

I've been wanting to share this for a while now but didn't quite know the right way to approach it and have been very hesitant to since there is so much negative feelings towards it. But I realized if the truth was shared by someone who has personal experience with it then maybe, just maybe people might change their minds. What is this "it" I speak of? Baby Wise, or the book that is On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep. It has become an invaluable book that I don't know what I would have done without. A dear old friend of mine was the one who shared it with me knowing I was having twins and had had twins herself, she knew I needed it since it had helped her so much. Luckily I hadn't heard anything about it so I had no preconceived negative feelings about it. She did warn me not to judge the book and to read the whole thing. Well reading the intro and first chapter of it online it felt completely right, it had already stated principles my husband and I had already wanted to do, like not letting our babies fall asleep to nursing or rocking, knowing they would become dependent on that to fall asleep. And its a very Christian based book, the author emphasizes the importance of family and having a nurturing mother and father and how a healthy marriage creates healthy children. Why wouldn't I want to read this book?! So I ordered it having complete faith in it. I then joined a group for Baby Wise Mom's on Facebook thinking it would be a great resource for help, which it most definitely has been. Upon joining I received a message from a friend who saw I joined warning me about it and all the negativity surrounding it. I was very grateful for her concern and to take the time to mention it to me, but I assured her I wouldn't do anything harmful to my babies and if there was anything I didn't feel good about I wouldn't do it. Well I read the book pretty quickly, and upon finishing it I was SO excited to implement the principles! Want to know the basic principles? It teaches a feeding schedule of feed/wake/sleep, instead of the most popular feed/sleep/wake. It helps the child from being dependent on nursing to fall asleep. The book teaches cry it out, which I'm assuming where it gets most of the negativity from, but I don't know why cause there's nothing harmful or dangerous about what it teaches. All it says is to help the baby self soothe. You don't lock your child in a room and let it cry for hours. How horrible is that! I can't believe that's actually what people think. It simply teaches to do it in time intervals, first for a couple minutes, then check, then a little longer, check, and so on. Eventually the baby learns to fall back asleep on its own. I know people who don't use Baby Wise and use this principle and their children are perfectly fine. Next, it teaches to help the baby to distinguish day from night, to have wake time during the day after feeding for a certain amount of time (right now its an 1 1/2 hr for my boys, that's including feeding) so it get's it sleep at night. You learn your baby's cries so you know when they are tired and when they are hungry. You don't starve your child. It doesn't once say don't feed your baby if it cries. In fact it says several times through out the book in the beginning when you're learning your babies cry to first feed if it cries unless you know for certain it's not hunger, i.e. you had just fed them 30 min ago. But once you know your baby's cries there's no need to guess. So, my personal experience. It has worked GREAT for me. It was a little hard in the beginning getting into a rhythm and figuring things out. Especially since I was battling postpartum depression really badly. It was horrible. I'm so glad I was able to recognize it and get some much needed medicine. It thankfully worked, and as soon as it did everything clicked, my mind cleared and everything made sense. Especially with the help of my dear old friend and a new one I made on the Baby Wise Facebook group, they were life savers for me. They gradually started waking up less in the night to feed, then later and later until around 16 weeks (11 adjusted since they were early) they slept from 7-7! 12 hours! I couldn't have been more psyched. All the hard work had paid off. I even turned my skeptical husband into a believer. He sings my praises now and brags to everyone that they sleep through the night because of my hard work. Makes me pretty happy:) The thing is, it's not for every baby or mother. Everyone is different and have their own personal parenting preferences. And some babies it just doesn't work. They're hard wired differently and for some reason or another, no matter how hard you try, they just won't sleep through the night, through no fault of the mother or father. And I've gotten to know several Baby Wise Mom's who don't implement cry it out just cause they don't want to. I think the most important thing to point out from all of this is that my babies are HEALTHY. There is absolutely nothing wrong with them. They are developing perfect for their age and are gaining weight like they should be. Their pediatrician is actually impressed with how well they are doing for being preemies. I would NEVER do anything that would harm my children, so know that the Baby Wise principles taught are completely safe and harmless. Also, they are HAPPY babies. Everyone who meets them are surprised at how good they are, they can be content on their own and only fuss when they are tired or hungry. My father in law even made a joke one time, "what drugs are you giving them?" in reference to them being so good. I credit it to Baby Wise. A baby who sleeps well is a happy baby. I truly believe that.

Well I hope that this might have eased your minds about Baby Wise if they ever were uneasy at all. Like the saying goes, never judge a book by its cover. You have to read it first, which apparently people don't do in this case. Don't listen to everything you hear. Go to the source, someone who has personal experience. I truly do love this book and would recommend it to anyone who wants help with their baby sleeping at night!


Thanks for reading!